Friday 27 December 2013

10 things I have learnt over the past year

I have never been one to celebrate new year's or make new year resolutions. The passing years are usually just a day for me. But the past year has been different for me and my family. Looking back at it now, I realise that I have gone through a lot of changes. Changes that wouldn't have seemed possible a year ago and in going through with these changes I realise that I have learnt a few things about myself. Things that I find are of big importance to me.

  1. I rediscovered my connection with Allah. I was always a "Muslim" earlier but last year has made me question a lot of my actions and cry out for help. I have gone through a whole spectrum of depression, fear, anger, dejection, joy, hope, contentment etc. There have been many times that I have cried out for help from Him in the night and have been so depressed that I couldn't even eat. My past actions came back to haunt me over and over. I was so fearful of missing out on His mercy and I cried out for His help until I had tears flowing down. Then He helped me see something about myself. I learnt that I was never going to be perfect in my actions and all I could do was to do the best I could within my ability and all my weaknesses, then leave the rest to Him. Insha Allah, He will be merciful towards me. I learnt that it it is easier to put in your best effort when you believe that Allah will help you through all the trials of life.
  2. I spent a lot of time away from my wife and son. I learnt how much I missed them both. There have been many times earlier that I have just wanted to be away from them both just to have peace of mind but now I realise that the joy of life cannot be found on a secluded mountain but its with one's family. Its in the daily grind of things that life brings, we just need to look for it. I would not give up my family for the world now.
  3. I learnt the sort of difference that the support of my wife made. Her encouragement and constant support even when I was jobless was so very precious. In spite of her own fears, she never let me feel down which I realise is of a value beyond measure.
  4. Before last year, I always thought I was a decent father to my son. But after spending the amount of time I have over last year with my son, I realise that being father is something I am very proud of. I share a very deep bond with my son, a bond that is renewed every time he hugs me tight. His cheeky smile lights up my day and even though playing with him is tiring, it is all worth it when he holds onto me tight.
  5. Before leaving Saudi, I was very scared of changing countries and moving to a place where I did not have any friends. The thought of starting out afresh in an alien country was always very intimidating to me. But after taking that major step of moving from Saudi Arabia to Singapore, I realise that I still have it in me to do what's right for the family in spite of my fears. I still have the cojones as the Mexicans would call it.
  6. Coming from an engineering background, sales was the last thing on my mind. But when the opportunity came knocking, I grabbed it with the belief to make the most out of it. I then realised that I was not that bad at sales anyway. Talking to strangers didn't necessarily come naturally to me with effort and training I was getting better at it. Who knew I had a salesman in me.
  7. The holiday in Spain/Portugal was a lot of fun. Managed to accomplish something that I have wanted for a long long time. I learnt that I loved travelling and enjoying good food irrespective of it being Indian or Spanish food.
  8. I learnt that it is so very important to have the right atmosphere at work so that people can actually enjoy their work and get better at it. Something that was seriously lacking at my earlier job.
  9. Going on a major holiday to Spain/Portugal with the family was a major challenge for me. But that trip taught me that no matter how difficult it seems at the start if you prepare well for anything and take things one day at a time, you will make it through as long as you have your goals in mind. For me the goal was to always have a great time with the family and that is what drove me during the trip. This is also something that drives me in my new career as well.
  10. The last thing I learnt is that the amount of time I spend with my family is not always as important as what I do with the time I spend with them. Quality time with the family is always better than lots of time with nothing being done.